Call for Entries: The 20th Annual Diana Spencer Memorial Deadpool

Rules as follows:

1. Ten ponies per player.
2. Ponies must be alive at midnight, December 31st 2017.
3. Ponies must be famous or infamous. To a point where a nearly 44 year-old wannabe rodeo clown from Titahi Bay knows who the hell you’re talking about. If I have to ask, you’re down one pony.
4. Points are allocated by the formula (100 – age at death)
5. Pony must be dead to score. Missing or nearly dead doesn’t count.
6. Special rules this year…

6a. THOU SHALT PICK NO PONY THAT THOU HAST SELECTED IN ANY PREVIOUS YEAR.

I’ll be checking before awarding points kids, so choose carefully.

Also, just to annoy the people who are bound to pick him –

6b. POTUS DONALD JOHN TRUMP IS OFF LIMITS.

Finally, just for the hell of it –

6c. ALL PLAYERS MUST NOMINATE ONE PONY AS THEIR ‘DEAD CERT’. SAID PONY SHALL DELIVER TRIPLE POINTS UPON EXPIRATION. IF THEY SURVIVE, HOWEVER, PONY’S AGE AT 31 DECEMBER 2018 SHALL BE DEDUCTED FROM THE NOMINATING PLAYER’S SCORE.

To enter, EMAIL ponies to the official Diana Spencer Memorial Deadpool email address [redacted]. Or, you can just comment below, either is cool.

Over to you, kids. Here’s hoping for a bumper crop this year!

Granma (0)

  1. Charles Spencer
  2. Bruce Willis
  3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  4. Demi Moore
  5. Sylvester Stallone
  6. Mel Gibson
  7. Caitlyn Jenner
  8. Melanie Griffith
  9. Ron Howard
  10. Henry Winkler

Johnny (0)

  1. Will Smith
  2. Puff Daddy
  3. Jamie Foxx
  4. Stevie Wonder
  5. Eddie Murphy
  6. Dr Dre
  7. Kanye West
  8. Mike Tyson
  9. Magic Johnson
  10. Bill Cosby

Sian (0)

  1. Matt Lauer
  2. Scott Disick
  3. Kristen Stewart
  4. Bill Clinton
  5. Hugh Grant
  6. Dean McDermott
  7. Charlie Sheen
  8. Ozzy Osbourne
  9. David Letterman
  10. Angelina Jolie

Mr Rundle (0)

  1. Elton John
  2. Shania Twain
  3. Keith Richards
  4. Joel Madden
  5. Benji Madden
  6. Lorde
  7. Billy Idol
  8. Debbie Harry
  9. Miley Cyrus
  10. Billie Ray Cyrus

Dave(0)

  1. Vera Lynn
  2. Stan Lee
  3. Wilford Brimley
  4. Jerry Stiller
  5. Don King
  6. Little Richard
  7. Mel Brooks
  8. Ruth Bader Ginsberg
  9. Angela Lansbury
  10. Honor Blackman

Michelle (0)

  1. Jay Leno
  2. Steve Martin
  3. Bill Murray
  4. Howard Stern
  5. Jim Carey
  6. Gordon Ramsay
  7. Morgan Freeman
  8. David Hasslehof
  9. Corey Feldman
  10. Mark Hamill

Warren (0)

  1. Angelina Jolie
  2. Charlie Sheen
  3. Celine Dion
  4. Jimmy Carter
  5. Robert Mugabe
  6. John McCain
  7. Bashar Al-Assad
  8. Kim Jong-un
  9. Sean Connery
  10. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress)

Moi (0)

  1. Thom Yorke
  2. Billie Joe Armstrong
  3. Anthony Kiedis
  4. Dr Dre
  5. Daniel Johns
  6. Betty White
  7. Cormack McCarthy
  8. Ian McKellen
  9. Jim Carey
  10. Aung San Suu Kyi

BJP (0)

  1. Bob Dylan
  2. Linda Ronstadt
  3. Phil the Greek
  4. Jesse Ryder
  5. John Goodman
  6. Ian McKellen
  7. Harvey Weinstein
  8. Alice Cooper
  9. Ozzy \m/
  10. Bob Mugabe
Saget (0)

  1. Kirk Douglas
  2. George Bush
  3. Prince Philip
  4. Robert Mugabe
  5. Charlie Sheen
  6. Stan Lee
  7. Sir David Attenborough
  8. Angela Lansbury
  9. Harvey Weinstein
  10. Kim ju un

Nick (0)

  1. Donald Trump *
  2. Ringo Starr
  3. Bob Hawke
  4. Caitlin Jenner
  5. Kevin Spacey
  6. Nick Jonas
  7. Mariah Carey
  8. QE2
  9. Bob Dylan
  10. Aretha Franklin

* Exemption granted.

Dan (0)

  1. Kim Jong Un
  2. George Bush snr
  3. Prince Phillip
  4. Bill Cosby
  5. Robert Mugabe
  6. Michael J Fox
  7. Tommy Chang
  8. John Cocksie Cocks*
  9. Justin Beiber
  10. Charlie Sheen

* Discount for terminal illness applies.

Kathy (0)

  1. Tara Reid
  2. Morrissey
  3. Demi Moore
  4. Demi Lovato
  5. Ed Harris
  6. Bam Margera
  7. Josh Homme
  8. Jilly Cooper
  9. Richard Hammond
  10. Zoella

Ranger* Dan (0)

  1. Kevin Spacey
  2. Harvey Weinstein
  3. Bill Cosby
  4. Queen Elizabeth
  5. Prince Phillip
  6. Robert Mugabe
  7. Kim Jong Un
  8. George Bush Senior
  9. George Bush Junior
  10. George RR Martin

* Rhymes with ‘banger’.

Noddy & Trev (0)

  1. Henry Kissinger
  2. Mikhail Gorbachev
  3. Madeleine Albright
  4. John Major
  5. Geoffrey Palmer*
  6. Jim Bolger
  7. Mike Moore
  8. Austin Mitchell
  9. Angela Merkel
  10. Hilary Clinton

* Former NZ PM, not the actor.

KVR (0)

  1. Duke of Edinburgh
  2. Caitlyn Jenner
  3. Dame Judi Dench
  4. Jonathan Hunt
  5. Len Brown
  6. Emperor Akihito
  7. Dame Maggie Smith
  8. Sir Peter Snell
  9. Jim Bolger
  10. Keith Richards

Sarah D (0)

  1. Madonna
  2. Philip Sherry
  3. Sam Neill
  4. Andrew Fifita
  5. Tony Podesta
  6. Johnny Depp
  7. Nigel Farage
  8. Robert Downey Jnr
  9. Suzy Aitken
  10. Stephen Fry

Uncle Mike (0)

  1. Prince Phillip
  2. Ozzie Osbourne
  3. Cliff Richard
  4. Barry Manilow
  5. Keith Richards
  6. Ronnie Wood
  7. Ian Smith
  8. Rolf Harris
  9. Peter Leitch
  10. Michael Jordon