Call for Entries: The 20th Annual Diana Spencer Memorial Deadpool

Rules as follows:

1. Ten ponies per player.
2. Ponies must be alive at midnight, December 31st 2017.
3. Ponies must be famous or infamous. To a point where a nearly 44 year-old wannabe rodeo clown from Titahi Bay knows who the hell you’re talking about. If I have to ask, you’re down one pony.
4. Points are allocated by the formula (100 – age at death)
5. Pony must be dead to score. Missing or nearly dead doesn’t count.
6. Special rules this year…


I’ll be checking before awarding points kids, so choose carefully.

Also, just to annoy the people who are bound to pick him –


Finally, just for the hell of it –


To enter, EMAIL ponies to the official Diana Spencer Memorial Deadpool email address [redacted]. Or, you can just comment below, either is cool.

Over to you, kids. Here’s hoping for a bumper crop this year!

Granma (0)

  1. Charles Spencer
  2. Bruce Willis
  3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  4. Demi Moore
  5. Sylvester Stallone
  6. Mel Gibson
  7. Caitlyn Jenner
  8. Melanie Griffith
  9. Ron Howard
  10. Henry Winkler

Johnny (0)

  1. Will Smith
  2. Puff Daddy
  3. Jamie Foxx
  4. Stevie Wonder
  5. Eddie Murphy
  6. Dr Dre
  7. Kanye West
  8. Mike Tyson
  9. Magic Johnson
  10. Bill Cosby

Sian (0)

  1. Matt Lauer
  2. Scott Disick
  3. Kristen Stewart
  4. Bill Clinton
  5. Hugh Grant
  6. Dean McDermott
  7. Charlie Sheen
  8. Ozzy Osbourne
  9. David Letterman
  10. Angelina Jolie

Mr Rundle (0)

  1. Elton John
  2. Shania Twain
  3. Keith Richards
  4. Joel Madden
  5. Benji Madden
  6. Lorde
  7. Billy Idol
  8. Debbie Harry
  9. Miley Cyrus
  10. Billie Ray Cyrus


  1. Vera Lynn
  2. Stan Lee
  3. Wilford Brimley
  4. Jerry Stiller
  5. Don King
  6. Little Richard
  7. Mel Brooks
  8. Ruth Bader Ginsberg
  9. Angela Lansbury
  10. Honor Blackman

Michelle (0)

  1. Jay Leno
  2. Steve Martin
  3. Bill Murray
  4. Howard Stern
  5. Jim Carey
  6. Gordon Ramsay
  7. Morgan Freeman
  8. David Hasslehof
  9. Corey Feldman
  10. Mark Hamill

Warren (0)

  1. Angelina Jolie
  2. Charlie Sheen
  3. Celine Dion
  4. Jimmy Carter
  5. Robert Mugabe
  6. John McCain
  7. Bashar Al-Assad
  8. Kim Jong-un
  9. Sean Connery
  10. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress)

Moi (0)

  1. Thom Yorke
  2. Billie Joe Armstrong
  3. Anthony Kiedis
  4. Dr Dre
  5. Daniel Johns
  6. Betty White
  7. Cormack McCarthy
  8. Ian McKellen
  9. Jim Carey
  10. Aung San Suu Kyi

BJP (0)

  1. Bob Dylan
  2. Linda Ronstadt
  3. Phil the Greek
  4. Jesse Ryder
  5. John Goodman
  6. Ian McKellen
  7. Harvey Weinstein
  8. Alice Cooper
  9. Ozzy \m/
  10. Bob Mugabe
Saget (0)

  1. Kirk Douglas
  2. George Bush
  3. Prince Philip
  4. Robert Mugabe
  5. Charlie Sheen
  6. Stan Lee
  7. Sir David Attenborough
  8. Angela Lansbury
  9. Harvey Weinstein
  10. Kim ju un

Nick (0)

  1. Donald Trump *
  2. Ringo Starr
  3. Bob Hawke
  4. Caitlin Jenner
  5. Kevin Spacey
  6. Nick Jonas
  7. Mariah Carey
  8. QE2
  9. Bob Dylan
  10. Aretha Franklin

* Exemption granted.

Dan (0)

  1. Kim Jong Un
  2. George Bush snr
  3. Prince Phillip
  4. Bill Cosby
  5. Robert Mugabe
  6. Michael J Fox
  7. Tommy Chang
  8. John Cocksie Cocks*
  9. Justin Beiber
  10. Charlie Sheen

* Discount for terminal illness applies.

Kathy (0)

  1. Tara Reid
  2. Morrissey
  3. Demi Moore
  4. Demi Lovato
  5. Ed Harris
  6. Bam Margera
  7. Josh Homme
  8. Jilly Cooper
  9. Richard Hammond
  10. Zoella

Ranger* Dan (0)

  1. Kevin Spacey
  2. Harvey Weinstein
  3. Bill Cosby
  4. Queen Elizabeth
  5. Prince Phillip
  6. Robert Mugabe
  7. Kim Jong Un
  8. George Bush Senior
  9. George Bush Junior
  10. George RR Martin

* Rhymes with ‘banger’.

Noddy & Trev (0)

  1. Henry Kissinger
  2. Mikhail Gorbachev
  3. Madeleine Albright
  4. John Major
  5. Geoffrey Palmer*
  6. Jim Bolger
  7. Mike Moore
  8. Austin Mitchell
  9. Angela Merkel
  10. Hilary Clinton

* Former NZ PM, not the actor.

KVR (0)

  1. Duke of Edinburgh
  2. Caitlyn Jenner
  3. Dame Judi Dench
  4. Jonathan Hunt
  5. Len Brown
  6. Emperor Akihito
  7. Dame Maggie Smith
  8. Sir Peter Snell
  9. Jim Bolger
  10. Keith Richards

Sarah D (0)

  1. Madonna
  2. Philip Sherry
  3. Sam Neill
  4. Andrew Fifita
  5. Tony Podesta
  6. Johnny Depp
  7. Nigel Farage
  8. Robert Downey Jnr
  9. Suzy Aitken
  10. Stephen Fry

Uncle Mike (0)

  1. Prince Phillip
  2. Ozzie Osbourne
  3. Cliff Richard
  4. Barry Manilow
  5. Keith Richards
  6. Ronnie Wood
  7. Ian Smith
  8. Rolf Harris
  9. Peter Leitch
  10. Michael Jordon


2016 saw off a bumper crop of the loveable and unexpected. This year let’s hope for a nice crop of a55h0l3s to balance things out. Double points for anyone who clearly has it coming. I AM THE LAW!

Marcus (0)

  1. Trump
  2. Richard Dawkins
  3. Stephen Hawking
  4. Richard dean Anderson
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Betty White
  7. QE2
  8. Meryl Streep
  9. Justin Bieber
  10. Michael Buble’s son Ineligible

Granma Pip (0)

  1. Billy Connelly
  2. William Windsor
  3. Bill Cosby
  4. William  Shatner
  5. Bill Gates
  6. Billy Joel
  7. Billy Ray Cyrus
  8. Venus Williams
  9. Willy Nelson
  10. Billy Jean King

Dave (0)

  1. Sean Connery
  2. Betty Windsor
  3. Kirk Douglas
  4. Phil the Greek
  5. Hugh Heffner
  6. George HW Bush
  7. Donald Trump
  8. Stephen Hawking
  9. Charles Manson
  10. Tim Curry

Nick (0)

  1. Donald Trump
  2. Rodrigo Duterte
  3. Charles Manson
  4. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
  5. Robert Mugabe
  6. Viktor Orban
  7. Bashar al-Assad
  8. Nicole Kidman
  9. Vladimir Putin
  10. Ayman al-Zawahiri

Sian (0)

  1. Betty White
  2. Wendie Malick
  3. Janice Dickinson
  4. Lindsay Lohan
  5. Dick Cheney
  6. Sir David Attenborough
  7. Snoop Dog
  8. Bert Newton
  9. Jaden Smith
  10. Andrea Bocelli

Moi (0)

  1. Hillary Clinton
  2. Rupert Murdoch
  3. Bob Mugabe
  4. Rolf Harris
  5. Dick Cheney
  6. Yoko Ono
  7. Mark Chapman
  8. George Lucas
  9. Tony Blair
  10. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Michelle (0)

  1. Donald Trump
  2. Angelina Jolie
  3. Elton John
  4. Barack Obama
  5. Charlie Sheen
  6. Bret Michaels
  7. Mick Jagger
  8. Oprah Winfrey
  9. Lindsay Lohan
  10. Mel Gibson

BJP (o)

  1. Justin Bieber
  2. Joni Mitchell
  3. Angelina Jolie
  4. Michael J Fox
  5. Jimmy Carter (President)
  6. Joost van der Westhuizen
  7. Jacques Chirac
  8. John Goodman
  9. Prince Philip   (The Juke of Edinburgh)
  10. Jerry Lee Lewis

I bought a painting (yay!)

2016 is off to a great start. While in the Hawke’s Bay for new year, I was fortunate to meet Fane Flaws, take a tour of his astonishing home, and buy one of his recent works – Electric Id #1 (gouache on brown paper).

These Psychedelic Ids are just mesmerising. Can’t wait to get it home.




And we’re off! Good luck, gentlemen…

Johnny (0)

  1. Christina Applegate
  2. Sharon Osborne
  3. Kathy Bates
  4. Robert De Niro
  5. Melissa Etheridge
  6. Suzanne Somers
  7. Mr T
  8. Rod Stewart
  9. Carly Simon
  10. Ringo Starr

Granma Pip (0)

  1. Billy Connelly
  2. William Windsor
  3. Bill Cosby
  4. William  Shatner
  5. Bill Gates
  6. Billy Joel
  7. Billy Ray Cyrus
  8. Venus Williams
  9. Willy Nelson
  10. Billy Jean King

Dave (6)

  1. Sean Connery
  2. Roger Moore
  3. George Lazenby
  4. Abe Vigoda
  5. Kirk Douglas
  6. Mary Tyler Moore
  7. Prince Philip
  8. Clive James
  9. Stephen Hawking
  10. Tommy Chong

Nick (73)

  1. Lindsay Lohan
  2. Martin Crowe
  3. Prince Phillip
  4. Mohammed Ali
  5. Paul Gasgoine
  6. Joost van der Westhuizen
  7. Stephen Hawking
  8. Justin Beiber
  9. Jay-Z
  10. Michael Schumacher

Sian (0)

  1. Barry Humphries
  2. Lady Gaga (Stefani Germanztta)
  3. Richard O’Brien
  4. Dennis Rodman
  5. Caitlyn Jenner
  6. Eddy Izzard
  7. Hilary Swank
  8. James Franco
  9. Guy Pearce
  10. Craig McLachlan

Moi (0)


  1. Harry Windsor
  2. Axel Rose
  3. Geri Halliwell
  4. Danny Boniduce
  5. Ginger Baker
  6. Scott Dixon
  7. Susan Sarandon
  8. Tom Wolfe
  9. Robert Redford
  10. Woodie Allen

Michelle (0)

  1. Donald Trump
  2. Angelina Jolie
  3. Elton John
  4. Barack Obama
  5. Charlie Sheen
  6. Bret Michaels
  7. Mick Jagger
  8. Oprah Winfrey
  9. Lindsay Lohan
  10. Mel Gibson

Noddy & Trevor (0)

  1. Chuck Berry
  2. Georgina Beyer
  3. Prince Philip
  4. Dougal Stevenson
  5. Bashar Assad
  6. David McPhail
  7. Pope Benedict
  8. George Bush SNR
  9. Patricia Routledge
  10. Bob Hawke

Gordon (0)

  1. Donald Trump
  2. Kirk Douglas
  3. Hugh Hefner
  4. Bill Cosby
  5. The queen
  6. Sean Connery
  7. Billy Connoly
  8. Ozzy Osbourne
  9. Tom Waits
  10. Prince Phillip

The problem with digital social connections


I was interested to see this piece on TechCrunch this morning.

Wiith is described as something akin to Tinder, but with a focus on shared social experiences. Clearly the term ‘shared social experiences’ is open to broad interpretation, and I have no doubt that Wiith will be useful to the same fine people that managed to force Adult Friend Finder to pivot from its initial bearing as a social network for golfers. Deviants aside, Wiith is an interesting prospect and a reflection of a similar idea I had a year or so ago.

Two things really bug me about mainstream social platforms…

The first is selection bias. No matter whether you’re talking about Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tinder or Grindr, new connection recommendations are typically based on shared attributes. Facebook wants me to meet Jill because we have 12 friends in common; LinkedIn wants me to meet Bob because we work in the same industry; and Tinder wants me to meet the Harris twins because – well, that ain’t gonna happen ‘cos I’m a happily married man. My point is, while digital social platforms have made it easier to meet new people, the selection of new connections based on the requirement of shared attributes is tantamount to inbreeding, and I don’t believe that’s a good thing.

Despite 500+ connections, my LinkedIn gene pool is so shallow you could dive in and smack your head on the bottom. My Facebook and Twitter profiles are no better – packed to the gunwales with colleagues and contemporaries. This is great for recruiters and those looking for a little industry chit chat, but useless in all other contexts. Back in my bar fly days I used to meet interesting, random people all the time – builders, bailiffs and bartenders (lots of bartenders), famous actors, authors, musicians and photographers, former mercenaries, convicted murderers… Thanks to the social networks’ recommendation algorithms, the opportunities for such wild and exhilarating encounters are now practically non-existent.

The other problem lies in the inherent agenda of social connections. While Facebook is less of an issue in this regard, connection requests are invariably tied up with an agenda of some kind. That LinkedIn request is from a headhunter or would-be supplier; the new Twitter follower is a content marketer wanting to leverage my reach and influence; and that Tinder request (ok bad example – Like I said, I’m a married man and don’t use Tinder).

I’ve come to realise that while our species is now more connected than it has ever been, we’ve also never been so lonely. Our social networks are designed to surround us with people just like ourselves, who invariably want something from us. The opportunity to meet new and interesting people for no other reason than to enjoy human interaction just doesn’t exist in today’s social networks, but it should.

Is Wiith the answer? Will it solve these ills and lead our species to the richness and fulfilment of genuine human interaction? Who knows. Maybe not, but it’s a nice idea and hopefully a sign of more to follow.

DP2015: Call for Entries

Ah, sweet December, my favourite time of year. The endless frustration of insane deadlines and absentee clients, offset by rampant binge spree drinking and a plethora of barbecued pork products. All of this, of course, pales in comparison to the true joy of this festive season – picking 10 celebs and praying to Glub / Uncle Chuck that they meet their mortal end before the next year is out.

That’s right, sports fans, DP2015 is open!

Cool Stuff

A few (signed, limited edition) screenprints I’ve bought recently by two of my favourite artists, Shepard Fairey and Ernesto Yerena. I have nowhere to hang these right now, but figure by the time I do these will be way out of my price range so best to buy them now. 


Shepard Fairey, Sedation Pill


Shepard Fairey, Compton’s Most Wanted


Ernesto Yerena, Lion of the Dead


Ernesto Yerena, Yaqui Dia de los Muertos